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Today no matter what I did or who I encountered I felt totally invisible. The kids wanted their daddy (who was sick and not up for the challenge), the dog wanted her daddy–even choosing to leave the couch where she’d been laying keeping me warm to jump up on his lap. I cooked, I cleaned, I cleaned up after cooking but nobody noticed. The phone didn’t ring all day long. (Although it rarely does on Sundays anyway. ) The kids were around playing and asking for cups of milk or juice/water or cheese squares or whatever but they didn’t seem to notice much about me either.

I ventured off to the store to get a quality humidifier ($129 later) and navigated my way though the isles of Bed Bath and Beyond silently. The cashier didn’t greet me or say anything until she asked me to sign the slip. I made eye contact with her but she couldn’t even seem to muster up a greeting or a goodbye.

The fancy market next store looked intriguing so I stuffed the huge humidifier into the silver car and went in for a look. I was hoping to find a treat for my husband as a belated Valentine’s Day gift (as I was sick with the flu all this week and missed the holiday completely). As I stood in line at the bakery case a woman with a lot more makeup, perfume and style walked right in front of me and asked for a carrot cake.

The humidifier and I arrived at home to find my youngest son still asleep in his crib and my four year old and his father fast asleep in the bedroom. It was silent, still, lonely.

The dog greeted me though—just like she always does–tail wagging a mile a minute. That always makes me happy.

Checked the laptop, no emails, no comments to my photo project. Humm…

So, I grabbed my tripod and decided the let the soft falling snow keep me company as I took some portraits for my photo journal/self portrait project. I just wanted to see some images of myself to see why I seemed to invisible today. Click the link to my project and my picture from today. Do you see me today?

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Lori - February 27, 2008 - 7:16 am

I see you! I see you!

Sorry, sweetie. I should have brought you some chicken soup, or at least checked in with you. So sorry you’ve been sick.

I LOVE your photos. They are so expressive and unique and COOL! I love the potato chip homage.

I am so glad we’re friends. You’re not invisible to me.

TucsonHillary - May 7, 2008 - 6:57 pm

Hi MB… I was looking through some of your pictures and revisited your blog. You are very open in your words and I can relate to some of your comments so strongly. My sons are young men now, but still children and like young children, they need you and want you, but for themselves, not always for you…it gets easier. I sure see YOU..You are a bright, beautiful and loving caring wife who is struggling to maintain your own identity and creativity while in the mommy/wife mode, too. You can do it…Your photography has grown sooo much while a member of SmugMug… I too have grown with my photography, but I am growing too just having this wonderful new connection with others who share my love and interest in photography for its own sake. I, too, am glad that you are one of my friends..even if it is only in the ‘virtual world’ of SmugMug…. BTW- I am blown away by your sand dunes photo..You must enlarge it, print and frame it well. It is a treasure of a shot. Really outstanding!!! Thanks too for the compliment on my SP…much appreciated!!!
SmugMug Hug, Hillary

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