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life is messy….death is messier.



life is messy.

life has completely blindsided me recently by loss.  for me the beauty of life has been paused by so many sweet souls taken too soon in the past few years.   I’ve become numb.  Words seem to be stuck in my mind–frozen almost–and my heart hurts so much that it’s affected my creativity, my flow…my soul.

I’ve been photographing but not as much and not with as much passion and drive as I once had.    I’ve always known life is messy.  And I’ve embraced that concept in my outlook, in my art and in the expression of it.  Up until a few years ago I’d been sheltered so much that death really didn’t permeate my world.  And I know that I’ve been pretty lucky in that respect.  And even my own journey with ovarian cancer didn’t really push me to think about death–since I’d had so much hope motivating me with each of the 18 chemo treatments I endured.  


First it was this guy on the right…my photography instructor and dear friend Efrain Cruz…out of the blue, diagnosed with Angiosarcoma and gone within months…then my friend Hallie Wastell a recurrence of Ovarian cancer…


Then… my dear daddy…unexpectedly from a stroke while watching tv on the couch…

my daddy

And this sweet girl at 15 years three months of being the light in our home…


And now…still so heavy on my mind–two months ago tomorrow…this dear friend Brittney Campbell…leukemia (less then one month from diagnosis to death)…


I am frozen from grief.  I’ve been stuck with so many emotions and no words or creativity flowing for so so long.


My heart hurts and so does my soul.

But after spending hours looking back at so many images and remembering all of the stories I’ve been able to tell and all of the relationships I’ve been honored to capture I’ve realized how healing photography is.  And how important it is to take the time to document the passage of time and the relationships we have in our lives that are so precious.  Ones all of us take for granted.

(Brittany and I had taken a memorable trip to NYC a few years back.  And, I’m not gonna lie…she did NOT like the camera being pointed at her…but I am so glad to have so many images to her and our time together from that trip to share with the world her family and her precious children left behind.  this one, from a delightful afternoon we spent in Central Park together is my favorite.)


Photography can be healing and helpful.  And I am so honored to to have a passion for it.  The fog is far from clearing but I feel hope that my camera and I still have some work to do.  And I’d be honored to do it for you and your family.  I’ll miss you forever Britt.

Remember–in the end we will all become stories.  Let’s take some time to write some pages together.

Now booking.  Spring is the BEST time for photography.  Life is blooming.  Don’t waste a moment.

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